When I was a teenager I went on a school skiing trip to Scotland. It didn’t go well. I wasn’t very sporty and didn’t take to skiing AT ALL. Falling down, fine. Standing up and footgliding – not so much.
It was no help that the skiing instructor thought this was hilarious, expressed his views vocally at length, and especially enjoyed making fun of me within earshot of my classmates. Fun times, the Eighties. Not that I’m bitter (yes I am. Curses to you, bullying ski instructor).
Anyway, so I never became a skier.
But last week I did go to the French Alps.
And who’da thunk it, turns out you can have a lot of fun in a ski resort in the off season.
Mostly, we walked up mountains and waved at Mont Blanc. Then we walked down valleys to get nose to splash with waterfalls. Also, the youngest got let loose in a bubble on a lake. The bubble was on a string though, so he didn’t float off too much.
I also met a funny mushroom up a mountain. This is either highly toxic, or has a quantity of Smurfs living beneath it. Possibly both. What do you think?
But mostly, I discovered that I don’t have to take my children on holiday at all. I just need to buy them more books.
BTW if you are thinking of going in search of funny mushrooms on your next trip, we were staying in the French Alps, near the resort of Tignes. Good views, pizzas and wifi. Alas no Doctor Who locations. Lots of signs that totally lie about the length of walks, and have you believe that a 3 hour yomp is actually a 20 minute stroll. Very good mountains though.