The bad baker’s guide to making macaroons

  1. Go to France. Eat a lot of macaroons. They will call them macarons but don’t get a bug up your ass about this. 
  2. Become so enamoured with the idea of making macaroons that you buy a packet mix to make coffee macaroons when you get home from holiday. OK, so the instructions are in French, but you can probably work it out, right? Or perhaps you will magically become bilingual, like someone who’s been in the Tardis, or Google Chrome. 
  3. Two years pass. You do not learn to speak French. The packet of French macaroon mix lurks in the cupboard, reminding you of your linguistic uselessness every time you open the door. It’s a long two years. 
  4. Buy a packet of macaroon mix from Sainsburys. Apply the instructions to your French packet and hope for the best. 
  5. Et voila – les macarons!making macaroons
  6. Notice that your macaroon mix is nearly two years out of date. Oh well, je ne regrette rien.