I was chuckling all day today at the tale of the blogger who got sent one shoe out of a pair to review.
So much so that by the end of the day I was wondering if it was some sort of reverse psychology PR stunt to make the shoes seem more interesting and desirable. Why didn’t I get one shoe to review? I can hop. I can balance. I can do basic Irish dancing.
PRs, this will not do. What are bloggers supposed to moan about on their secret parent blogger forums if you’re making us laugh instead of annoying us? So here is my definitive cut out and keep guide for PRs on how to piss off a parent blogger:
- Start your email Dear Mummy Blogger – parent bloggers LOVE that, particularly if they are men.
- Follow up by getting the name of the blog wrong. Mail merge is your friend here.
- Then say I love your blog, I’ve just spent all morning reading it followed by a sentence which shows that you have never actually clapped eyes on it in your life.
- Offer products for review which have no discernible relevance to the blogger in question. Quite a rich seam of parent bloggers will go apopleptic if you offer them nappies when their youngest is 24.
- Offer content for their blog including four links to your client’s site, and make a big deal about how you’re not going to charge them for this service. This saves the blogger from having to write their own posts which they hate doing really.
- Play Blogger Beauty Parade – ask too many bloggers to an event, then ditch the ones you don’t want or simply go silent as the grave when they get in touch.
- Alternatively, offer something really cool to do or review, and when it looks like your blogger has got super excited and told their kids about it, just disappear and never mention it again. It’s not like they’ll bear a grudge or remember your name.
- Send an invitation at 4pm on a Friday for an event at 10am on the Monday. Tell your blogger they can only bring one of their children to your event. It’s OK, they’ve all got a favourite.
PS Anybody got a single shoe they need reviewing? Will consider one sock or some chocolate covered nuts that you’ve licked the chocolate off instead. #prrequest