Be afraid, be very afraid – it’s Memebox OMG4

The OMG series of beauty boxes from Memebox have come under criticism for just not being weird enough. But they still always contained some pretty decent products, so I have continued buying them.

Memebox promised that OMG4 would be the most eye-popping of the lot, and as it turns out, they weren’t joking.

OMG4 retailed at $29 plus shipping. It contains six full size items with a combined retail value of $172. One of those items may or may not be a set of moisturising masks. For your genitals.memebox omg4


Yes, I know you’re thinking that your nether regions have done a perfectly good job of moisturising themselves all these years, but it turns out that we were wrong. Oh so very wrong. What they were lacking was their very own set of his ‘n hers hooha moisturising masks.

In case anybody’s still interested, or while you pick yourself up from the floor, here’s what else was in the box

  • Abalone Crystal Double EX-Cream (50ml $78)
    A posh face cream made with black bean extract, watermelon and fermented abalone. Apparently abalones are the King of Shellfish from the southern coast of Korea, packed with all kinds of nutrients to rejeuvenate the skin. Let’s sing them a little tribute song
  • Pureplus+ Cocoon Returning Toner (200 ml $18)
    Reminds me of ProPlus, the high octane caffeine pill beloved of students everywhere. Great to see a toner, and how cool that it’s made from silkworm cocoon extract.
  • Shara Shara Secret Magic Lipstick ($8)
    A new addition to my collection of eleventy billion orange lipsticks, courtesy of Memebox. At least this one applies pink, as the OMG factor here is that it changes colour. From orange to orangey pink. Wow *falls over*
  • Dr. MJ Moisture Bounce Aqua Memory BB cream (45g $46)
    Now there is nothing OMG about this at all, but that said it is a very nice BB cream. Very messy to extract from the jar. Might have to wear a hazmat suit to apply.
  • Purebess Hot Styling Hair Fixer ($16)
    This is actually quite a useful thing if like me your hair is starting to grow weird grey pubey bits that veer off in all directions. It’s hair serum on a mascara wand, and works to flatten those bits down

And finally…

  • Nadu Skin The First Love Pack ($6)
    There are no words first love masks


OK, here are a few works – WHAT THE FRICKETY FRICK EVEN IS THIS???

Black raspberry essence for the gents and pomegranate for the laydeez. The packaging advises Prepare it in advance before meeting that special someone. What, so you’re supposed to wear it all day in the hope that you get lucky? In what insane universe is this a thing? Do people do this? I mean, I’m reasonably open-minded and I live in Brighton so I’ve seen all sorts of crazy bananas but surely this can only be FOR MANIACS.

Funnily enough, Memebox are now retiring from the beauty box game, or at least cutting back substantially on the number of boxes they produce.

And if you’re wondering where you can get your hands (or genitals) on some special masks like these, fear not because guess what my next giveaway prize is?

You didn’t think I was going to give them house room, did you?

Tune in again soon for the WORST prize in the history of beauty giveaways.

 

 

 

¬†Disclaimer: I bought this box with my own money. No, I’m not joking about the hooha masks.