Dear School…


Dear SchoolLego scream

Thank you for your many letters, notes, emails and texts over the last few weeks. Since I have two children, I get all of this stuff twice. And since one of my children is starting a new school, there’s a whole heap of stuff from that direction too. I know it’s good to talk, but do you really have to talk so much?

Since you have been chasing my time, cash, presence and cake-making ability, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but I don’t have an abundance of any of those.

But still, what fun it was to be making fairy cakes at 11pm after a hard day at work. And then to see the PTA ubermum abandon them under a table at the class picnic. How glad I was to have put in the effort.

Really, who doesn’t enjoy a morning that starts with a child wailing I need a costume just as you’re going out the door? And all those nights of working until the wee small hours because the afternoon was cut short by your insistence that we turn up at 2pm for an open day/class assembly/celebration of Best Class Fart.

I know teachers get tired by the end of term, but why so keen to inflict it on the parents too? At least you get a rest from our kids, we’ve got them for the whole of the summer. Yes I realise I could ignore the letters, not turn up to the events and pretend I didn’t know I was supposed to bring the cakes. But then I would feel like crap, and I prefer not to feel like crap if I can help it.

I appreciate all you’ve done, I honestly do, but if a man was to display this level of demands I would dump him, change my phone number and report him to the police for stalking. Don’t make me do that to you.

Yours in end of term exhaustion,

A Mum



image: Flickr user kennymatic

  • I would reply to your comment, but I have to go out for ANOTHER frickin’ school event. Only 5 days left and they have managed to cram in 5 events. Luckily there is a piss up with the mums next Friday as well, I’ll be needing that.

  • Sally Todd

    Bravo! That is all!

  • Tattie Weasle

    I’m lucky term ended two weeks ago for me; just beginning to miss all the letters etc and to wish to heaven above that September would come round quicker: why don’t we just skip August?

  • @Sally Thank you!

    @Tattie – Yes, let’s abolish August, that would solve so much

  • Caroljs

    I have all this to come though not for a few years yet!

  • Just you wait Carol – it’s not fun!

  • Oh God – same here. I’ve got two at different schools so I’ve got raffles, sports days, dressing up as a bug, summer fair at one school and then end of term performance, leavers day, BBQ and picnic, disco at the other school. Plus all the stuff from the secondary school. I need an intervention!

  • Kathy Lawrence

    We used to have book dressing up day AND Tudor Day dressing up. And I spent hours of my life growing and transporting plants for the stall at the donkey derby, which some people wanted to sell off far too cheaply and nearly caused a Pimms-inspired fisticuffs. Ah, those were the days. So glad nothing’s changed.

  • Kathy, it’s getting worse